Jeevan nahi mara karta hai ...

Chhip chhip ashru bahaney walo
Moti vyarth lutaney walo
Kuchh sapno ke mar jaaney se
Jeevan nahi mara karta hai

Sapna kya hai, nayan sej par
Soya hua aankh ka paani
Aur tootna hai uska jyon
Jaagey kachchi neend jawani

Geeli umar bananey walo
Doobey bina nahaney walo
Kuchh paani ke bah jaaney se
Saawan nahi mara karta hai

Maala bikhar gai to kya
Khud hi hal ho gai samasya
Anshoo gar neelaam huey toh
Samjho poori hui tapasya

Roothey diwas mananey walo
Fati kameez silaaney walo
Kuchh deepon ke bujh jaaney se
Aangan nahi mara karta hai

Khota kuchh bhi nahi yahan par
Kewal jild badalti pothi
Jaise raat utaar chaandni
Pehne subah dhoop ki dhoti

Vastr badalkar aaney walo
Chaal badalkar jaaney walo
Chand khilono ke khoney se
Bachpan nahi mara karta hai

Laakhon baar gagriyan phooti
Shikan na aayi par panghat par
Laakhon baar kashtiyan doobi
Chahal pahal woi hai tat par

Tam ki umr badhaaney walo
Lau ki aayu ghataaney walo
Laakh kare patjhar koshish par
Upvan nahi mara karta hai

Loot liya maali ne upvan
Lutee na lekin gandh phool ki
Toofaano tak ne chheda par
Khidki band na hui dhool ki

Nafrat galey lagaaney walo
Sab par dhool udaaney walo
Kuchh mukhdon ki naaraazi se
Darpan nahi mara karta hai

For English version: http://poems2remember.blogspot.com/2007/01/jeevan-nahi-mara-karta-hai-life-it.html

It is all in our mind

I observed that I am getting lazier day by day. It occurred to me when I reached office today. Earlier if there was a queue to get in the elevator, I just used to take stairs to the fifth floor (where my office is). Today, I found myself standing in that queue. I felt like a thakela and then there was no way I was taking the elevator. I forced myself to take the stairs and and following thought crossed my mind:

Like many things, I think, being lazy mostly has to do with the imposition of your mind on itself that you are lazy or you can't do this or this will too tiring, followed by the mind accepting its own imposition.

From today onwards, I have decided to abandon the use of elevator whenever possible and deny the proposition that my life-style has gotten stable which is making me lazy.

Disturbing moments --

There are moments everyone goes through where they doubt their capabilities (by gathering each and every negative they can) which they are mostly confident about ... I am going through one such moment since this morning. The best thing I can do about it is shut off my mind and let this moment pass ... The more I think more will be the questions popping up and my mind will not be able to provide rational answers/explanations in such state. I will let this moment go and bring it up later ... preferably in the morning when I am positive and fresh.

Ghazals ...

Dang, so many lines are coming on and off in my mind today ...

-- koi ye kaise bataye ki wo tanha kyu hai ... wo jo apna tha wahi aur kisi ka kyu hai ... yehi duniya hai to phir aisi ye duniya kyu hai ... yehi hota hai to aakhir yehi hota kyu hai ...

-- jise bhi dekhiye wo apne aap mein ghum hai ... jubaan mili hai magar humjubaan nahi milta ...

-- jeene ke liye socha hi nahi dard sambhalne honge ... muskuraaye to muskuraane ke karz utaarne honge ... muskuraoon kabhi to lagta hai jaise hothon pe karz rakha hai ...

-- hum bhatakte hai ... kyu bhatakte hai ... dashto sehra mein ... aisa lagta hai mauj pyaasi hai apne dariya mein ... kaisi uljhan hai kyu ye uljhan hai ... ek saaya sa ... rubaru kya hai ..

-- ranz aur dard ki basti ka mai baashinda hoon ... ye to bas mai hoon ki is haal mein bhi zinda hoon ... khaab kyu dekhoo wo kal jispe mai sharmina hoon ...

-- ye bata de mujhe zindagi ... pyaar ki raah ke humsafar kis tarah ban gaye ajnabi ... phool kyu saare murjha gaye ... kis liye bhuj gayi chandni ...

-- kab mili thi kahan bichdi thi ... humein yaad nahi ... zindagi tujhko to bas khaab mein dekha humne ...

-- is dil mein bas kar dekho to .... ye shahar bada puraana hai ...

-- ek andhera laakh sitaare ... ek niraasha laakh sahare ... sabse badi saugaat hai jeevan ... nadan hai jo jeevan se haare ...

-- har ek jism ghayal ... har ik rooh pyaasi ... nigahon mein uljhan ... dilo mein udaasi ..

People!!!

I love airports. They are full of life! Today my flight got delayed by 3 hours and I spent all that time at bangalore airport strlloing in the parking lot and thinking. I had not slept last night so it was funner. I was just walking and looking at people around every now and then. Some of them looked happy, some were normal and some looked sad. I was comfortably immersed in my thoughts with my eyes and ears engaged. Suddenly a weird thought occurred to me - what if suddenly all the voices and people are removed from the scene? When I imagined that I got uncomfortable and felt like I dont know what to do, where to go ... I was not thinking anymore ... ever sat in a bar/restaurent in off-peak hours when there is no one except waitors?

Seems like there is some connection even with the people we dont know or we will know ever. What is this connection? This reminds me of one situation about 10 years ago when I was preparing for the iit-jee exams ... I was studying fluid mechanics and nothing of it was going into my head ... I was kinda scared that day about me not able to make it to any iits and was alone at home ... I just decided that I will go to some park and study ... there were a few people in the park and I sat in park and studied for 4-5 hours ... I felt very comfortable and the fright thing just disappeared ... I did not even think of anything negative once I was there ... The point is may be back then I knew this thing about being comfortable in crowd but it never occurred to me like it did today. Another thing occurred to me, that such environments encourage me to be creative ... While walking, I was thinking of starting to write short stories and many sorts of plots were coming to my mind ... though they were little hazy but they were there ... I still need to work on getting this creative me out of myself ... I know its there!

Fucking Expectations

Following thought has been catching my attention for past couple of weeks:
Whatever happens, one must not loose focus ...

Why do humans expect from their relations? I think because everyone needs support and needs to depend on someone for various needs (emotional, financial, entertainment, intellectual etc.) But, in some situations our own fairly reasonable expectations come back and hurt us. What is the right thing to do then? Should one just cut them down? Or should one just continue and be ready for the possible outcomes? I guess expectations in relations are the reason why society stays interconnected and I believe if they don't exist then the society would be very secluded and aloof as nobody will need nobody and mind their own business. People who practice to expect the least out of their relations are happier or look happier at least??? But honestly, how one can do that? It is so difficult to practice. My viewpoint is that we tend to expect most out of the people we love/care about, or the ones who matters to us the most. Or may be there something else? May be its just psychological, may be we just want to depend? My be we can be fine without any dependence too, but its just becomes a psychological habit to expect and depend?

So, I feel that the most important, real, honest things are the dreams one has and he/she should depend only on them. Nothing else is significant ... hence whatever happens, one must not loose focus on his/her dreams